Sabbatical Thoughts from Midwife Bethany

Jan 15

It is just a few days until I am back on call welcoming 2024 babies. I am reflecting on the time I have spent on sabbatical while also looking forward to what it will be like to step back in to midwife life in just a few days. I enjoy this in between of days because I am refreshed while being full of creativity and problem solving skills. Right now, I am re-organizing my birth bag, stocking and ordering all the supplies, packing birth pools, creating some new systems for myself to stay organized, and also doing some bookkeeping. It is the best feeling to begin the new year with order and to do list with everything completed!

While on sabbatical, I have seen family, gone to concerts and movies, enjoyed walks in nature, met up with friends, all without my phone by me, with me, or on the table! This is a luxury I don’t have when I am on call. It has been wonderful and just what this midwife needed, and I believe, what midwives absolutely need regularly.

The nature of being on call is such that when someone is in my care, I must be reachable and available to them for any urgent concern, no matter if they are 8 weeks, 28 weeks, 42 weeks, in labor, 3 days, or 5 weeks postpartum. It is continuous until they have completed their care. My phone is with me, or on my bedside table, with the volume turned on and good service at every point. If any client is in their due window, I do not leave the area nor do I go to places without service. I started attending births and being on call like this since I was 17 years old so this is my “normal” but, the constant ready-ness takes a toll on one’s body.

Besides my phone, I have to make sure every item I could possibly need is packed for a birth, including emergencies. and in my car at all times. My gas tank can never be less than half full (this midwife does not want to stop for gas in the middle of the night or be close to empty if more than one person is in the due zone!). And everything I need for my personal needs must be situated: I have to always have some clean scrubs/birth clothes, snacks ever ready, all the devices charged, dog sitters on the ready (props to all the midwives also juggling childcare needs 24/7!), and just generally being ready to drop everything and run 24/7 toward things like blood and screaming. Being a midwife is not for the faint of heart!

Doubtful it needs to be said, but being a midwife is an honor and a privilege. I have supported, and proportionately, been inspired by countless women. The cliche images of smiling women catching babies by candlelight is literally my job. It is incredible but I have also saved lives and seen things I would never wish on anyone. Just as many women wade through the mirky waters of birth trauma, so do midwives. Bravely, I have done the work of processing my trauma so that I do not carry that into the next birth.

On a scientific level, midwives live in a state of fight or flight, or being ever ready. While calm, the necessity of always being ready depletes our minerals as our nervous system is regularly, or consistently, dysregulated. This is the not so quaint reality of being a midwife which no one talks about. I have known burn out and now I know sabbatical, a very real remedy to burn out.

I share all this as I reflect on the things I have learned in my most recent sabbatical. Just this year, I realized a few things, which I feel I put together, like a puzzle these past few months:

Most of my clients have no idea what it looks like for me to be ready at a moment’s notice or what my life looks like to offer midwifery care in exchange for monetary compensation.
If they do have an inkling of what it looks like, I often hear comments like “wow, I could never do that” or hear assumptions that my calling to be a midwife somehow gives me a gift to withstand the stress and lifestyle that, let’s be honest, is contrary to our physiology comes with midwifery.
Many clients see me as a wonder woman and that may very well put pressure, whether conscious or subconscious, on themselves to also push themselves far beyond their bodies can withstand.

These things have also been layered with my own health challenges that need attention but the reality is that when I am on call, I cannot plan to attend any kind of medical, dental, eye, chiropractic, massage, or other appointment that I may need. This often leads to not having the care I personally need, or being charged if I cannot attend. And this is just hard.

My own spiritual journey, in addition, has me contemplating on our Creator himself who rested on the Seventh day. An all powerful being RESTED. I could write an entire book on this and why I deeply believe in sabbatical but needless to say, I feel deeply convicted that being on call continuously for months is not how God created us.

I want to be a good example to my clients in attending to my own health needs. Mothers, you must take care of yourself and your midwife has not been a good example! My arising health challenges require I take time off and I certainly wish I had listened sooner, before these issues arose. And I believe the Lord has a good plan where we should not work continuously. So I humbly want to let you all know that I am listening, both to myself and what I feel convited about.

For all of these reasons I will be taking off 24 hours every week to attend the appointments I need to and to attend to my own personal and spiritual health beginning in February 2024. I think that the majority reading this will understand that this is the right thing to do.

Thankfully, and realistically, Becky will also be on call in case of emergencies, or illness. The reality is that one person will become sick, experience death in the family, or God forbid have something so serious happen that they cannot work. This plan of having another person on the team, I believe, is wise and simply having foresight.

What I am exceedingly excited about is that Becky is my dear friend. We went to midwifery school together, were roommates for three years, supported each other in what I think we both would agree was the most difficult season of our lives, and then, I had the pleasure of catching both of her boys. We are bonded, have the same values, and I trust her implicitly. She is a wonderful midwife that is patient in long labors and quick thinking when births take a different turn. She has also personally experienced what it is like to have a long labor and a short labor while also going through the challenges of postpartum and breastfeeding newborns with tongue ties. She knows her stuff!

Becky will be teaching childbirth classes so everyone can meet her. This way, you all will know her and meet her ahead of time. The reality is that midwives will have things come up, because we are human, and this new system will have all possibilities taken into account, well, as much as we can with the unpredictable nature of birth.

If you are a current client, I do understand that this can feel like a major shift in care. Some may feel this more than others for a variety of reasons. Please know that both Becky, Kiesha, and Inna and I all communicate regularly so that we all know what is going on with clients to discuss concerns and our client’s desires. We all have access to the charting system and have agreed upon protocols. With that said if you would like to talk about anything regarding this change, please reach out to me and we can schedule a time to talk. We can also discuss further at your next appointment. If you decide you may want to transfer out of care, please let me know as soon as possible so I can 1. help you find a midwife that still has availability for your due month and 2. begin the process of transferring your potential refund so you can plan your finances accordingly.

To get to know Becky better:

Love, Midwife Bethany